This past week I fell off the wagon hard when it came to my diet and the symptoms are threefold what they used to be. It started when I ran out of low-FODMAP food in my apartment and had a lot of high-FODMAP food I love and didn’t want to just throw away. This week has also been really crazy with work which includes not being able to go to the gym. I had to be up in Santa Monica Tuesday and Wednesday at odd hours so I’ve been ordering on Postmates for dinner every night.
We were observing focus groups so I was in a viewing room, sitting all day, with candy dispensers, chips, soda and pastries easily accessible and free. The lunches I ordered were low-FODMAP but it wasn’t enough. I can’t help myself but I need to be snacking all the time. Because the only things to snack on were bad for me, I brought grapes and carrot sticks Wednesday but I ended up eating all of it before half the day was done. So I ate the candy and chips. What’s the most frustrating is I went to the store at the beginning of the week to be prepared for this and have barely touched what I bought. What a waste.
The universe works in mysterious ways, though. While waiting for my Postmates order Wednesday, I was searching Amazon for a food competition show and one of the options that came up (because I only searched “Food”) was Food As Medicine which immediately caught my attention. It’s a documentary about the use of food to heal chronic illness and disease. Not even 30 minutes in, I sent a text to my sister and step-mom to check it out. About an hour in, I was totally bought in and sent a text to a few other friends to take a look. This is something my gastroenterologist has been trying to tell me and it’s not that I didn’t believe her (because I always have), it’s just really hard to stick with it.
It really hit me when they talk about the impacts corporate life has on people’s ability to maintain diets. This is something I knew was going to play a big part in me being able to stay on the wagon and has me thinking a lot more about creating a strategy for the unexpected. Thankfully, I’ve already told my leadership that I’ll need to work from home for 30 days to retrain my body, etc. but this is now motivating me to follow through with that (I’m a workaholic, what can I say).
I’m a week away from my colonoscopy, endoscopy, and appointment with the dietitian/nutritionist so I’ve been telling myself it’s okay to eat bad until then. And I’ve always kind of had it in the back of my head that I’d be able to go back to the way I eat now once my body resets. After watching this documentary, I realize that’s not true and what I’m really doing right now is not wanting to let go of my current diet. Essentially, I’m grieving.
It reminds me of when you’re in a relationship with someone, and you know you need to break it off but for some reason (codependency) you’re trying to hold on to it. My current diet is my partner in this metaphor and it’s become ingrained into my daily life, so much so that it can control my moods. I’m starting to get nervous about being able to follow through with this lifestyle change since there is no one in my immediate support group making the change with me. I love going out to restaurants and sitting at bars but with this new lifestyle, I’ll need to find something else to do with my time (blogging) and become comfortable missing out on my friends going to do those things.
Who knows? Maybe, through my blogging experience, I’ll meet someone or a group of people making the same or similar life changes so we can support each other. Until then, I’m going to keep researching recipes and quick tips while staying motivated to stick with it. 🙂