I can’t say this enough: making a lifestyle change is hard. And I’m really scared I won’t be able to do it or that the results won’t be what I’m expecting. I told my leadership that I need to work from home for 30 days while I adjust and find a routine but my doctors think I should take 30 days off work to allow myself the time and flexibility to figure it all out. Taking time off work has always been hard for me, not to mention an entire month.
To me, it’s not the right time in my career to take that amount of time off. Plus I’m in the middle of a really big project and I don’t want to drop everything and pass it to someone else. The doctors make a good point that there will never be a good time in my career to take this kind of time off and they’re right. I don’t know why but for some reason I’m scared there will be consequences. Obviously someone can’t be fired for taking medical leave so I really don’t know what I’m scared off. It’s probably my anxiety getting the best of me but I feel so much pressure to perform at the highest level and I never want to let my team down. There is so much opportunity in my future if I continue doing what I’m doing now and taking time off means slowing down.
Deep down, I know I really should take the 30 days off to get healthy and it’s sad that I put my career first. Even as I write this, I don’t know if I’m going to take the time I know I need. Part of me wants to prove I can do it all but who am I trying to impress? It’s only me who truly knows the pain and struggle I’m going through.
Has anyone else faced a similar dilemma? What did you decide to do and how did you cope?